Spiritual Book - Enlighted, Awake, and Alive

2008-04-03

Dear you, me, and whom it may concern,

I awoke today to God’s love and grace. I feel overwhelming Joy for who I am in Christ Jesus and to God. As I searched the Bible for my place in the world, I realized that I am not of this world; I am a child of God. God has lavished His mercy, grace, and love on me. I truly am a new man. Because God has blessed me with wisdom and spiritual discernment, I can see things so clearly now.

Over the years of figuring out who I am and what I want out of life, I have discovered my identity, origin, and purpose in God. Surprisingly, I grew and strengthened my relationship with God during difficult times in my life. When things are going well, you can get by with just knowing of God, but it is only through trials that you truly trust God.

I was so fed up with bumping my head, hurting the people I care about, failing at my goals, and falling short that I broke down and asked God, my creator, for help. I picked up a letter he wrote to me in which he encouraged, taught, guided, and inspired me. The Bible was His words. The more I read, the more I cried, the more I realized, the more joy and peace I felt. Everything I read spoke directly to my heart; I could relate to it in some way and at some point in my life.

I suddenly had answers to my questions, solutions to my problems, relief from my stress, strength to overcome my weaknesses, and light to guide me. I was alive and not just existing, looking for meaning.

It was as if I had read a book that had become my reality. My life unfolded exactly as I read it as God spoke it. Everything, from the ramifications of my sins to the benefits of my obedience. I could hear God instructing, guiding, comforting, and loving me. I couldn’t believe how fortunate I was to have the favor of the one who created me.

The more I read about him, the more He revealed to me, and the more I prayed to Him, the closer I felt to Him. I could see and feel Him working in my life, transforming me into a witness to His mercy, love, patience, and grace.

An Angel came to see me a few years ago. He came over to my table, sat down, and started talking. I thoughts it was because I was a local favorite and knew a lot of people there. “You know they respect you; you could make a difference in their lives,” said the Angel, a man I had never seen or met before. I sat there, taking in all of my friends and acquaintances. I was a little perplexed because I didn’t know the guy, but I felt he needed my assistance with something. “You could really help them; look at them; they will listen to you,” he continued.

I had this vision of myself standing at a podium, talking to people who were staring at me, waiting for me to say something. I wondered who this person was, what he wanted, and why he told me all of this. If I close my eyes,  I can still see him sitting there, as if he doesn’t belong there,

He tapped me on the knee and told me to think about it as I pondered the situation. He then stood up and walked away, weaving his way through the crowds. I was beside myself for the rest of the night, unable to comprehend what had just occurred.

I remember driving home with the radio turned off, replaying what had happened in my head over and over. When I got home, the first thing I said to my wife was, “Guess what happened to me tonight?” I kept replaying it in my head for days, trying to make sense of it all. Could I assist help? How can I help them? Who was he to suggest I help them?

As I sit here writing this, I recall thinking that he must be a Rockstar and that he wants me to do some kind of outreach work. I remember thinking how big this could be. I needed money, and if some were involved, I might be able to persuade them to listen to me. He didn’t offer me a business card, so I didn’t take him seriously, but I did wonder what if. I rationalized it all by saying he was just a caring person who noticed how well I knew everyone and how much they liked me.

I went to prison about a year later. That year, God touched my life in ways it had never been touched before. He opened my eyes to see my life through His eyes. I realized how fortunate I was and how much God loves me.

While I was in prison in, a lady named Mother Vincent prophesied over me. She told me that the Lord has a calling on my life. You have a role to play in the body of Christ. You used to wear a purple robe, but you gave it up for women and money, and the Lord wants you to return to him. Her words pierced my heart, and I cried.

The second time she prophesied, she told me the Lord has a ministry for your life. It could be up here behind the podium or somewhere else, but you have a ministry; you will make a difference.

When she prophesied the third time, she told me that the Lord wanted me to tell you to hold your hands up when you surrender to him.  Ironically, I had just confessed my surrender to God in my prayer, but I didn’t raise my hands.  While I was praying, I had the thought to hold my hands up, but I did. The voice I heard was God telling me to raise my hands. He confirmed it was Him through her.

About a month later, I was in church when the pastor asked, “What’s your name?” So, today the Lord put it on my heart to ask you to come up and speak for a few minutes. I’m not sure why, but He just placed it on my heart.

I had the same vision I had before as I stood behind the podium. Then I heard God speak to me and say, “My Will be done.” I was speechless; I could see God’s Will manifesting right in front of my eyes. I was able to open the Bible and speak what the Lord had put on my heart, but I felt a greater purpose in my life was being fulfilled.

God was and has always been at work in my life. He has complete control over our lives. Romans 8:28,  “We know that for those who love God, all things work together for good. To those who have been called in accordance with his purpose.”

God has a plan for my life that includes a purpose for my life. This realization is the source of my joy. God is always with me. Regardless of how I feel, God is faithful and loves me.

Today, in the name of Jesus Christ, I receive all of God’s blessings, grace, love, and purpose for my life. Today, I live by faith in the wisdom, love, and perfect plan that God has for my life.

I am thankful for who I am today. I am only saved because of God grace.

 

By Marcellus Curtis

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